Resource & Recommendation Hub

Why I Recommend It:
Terry Real’s The New Rules of Marriage teaches the essential relational skills needed for modern relationships. It helps readers identify ineffective “losing strategies” and replace them with winning strategies that promote closeness and mutual respect.

Key Takeaways:

• Recognizing and abandoning ineffective relationship habits.

• Understanding Core Negative Images (CNI) that shape how we perceive our partners.

• How past adaptations that once served us can become barriers to deep connection.

• Practical steps for fostering romantic closeness and long-term relationship success.

How It Has Impacted Me:
This book has been invaluable in my own marriage and my work with couples. It provides a clear roadmap for developing the relational skills necessary for a fulfilling and enduring partnership.

Why I Recommend It:
Dr. David Burns is a pioneer in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and When Panic Attacks is one of his most accessible and powerful books. Unlike traditional self-help books on anxiety, this book provides a step-by-step approach to identifying and overcoming distorted thinking patterns that fuel anxiety and panic attacks.

Key Takeaways:

• The importance of cognitive distortions in shaping negative emotions like fear, shame, and low self-esteem.

• Practical exercises and immediate techniques for reducing anxiety without medication.

• A focus on removing the hidden resistance to change, which is often the biggest barrier to healing.

How It Has Impacted Me:
This book transformed my understanding of how anxiety operates and how to dismantle it effectively. I use its principles in my therapy practice to help clients gain relief from panic attacks, phobias, and general anxiety disorders. It is a must-read for anyone struggling with anxiety or persistent fear-based thoughts.

Why I Recommend It:

For those navigating the aftermath of infidelity, this book provides a clear, no-nonsense roadmap for rebuilding trust. What sets Dr. Weiss apart is his definition of infidelity, which moves beyond specific physical acts and instead focuses on the broader concept of betrayal through secrecy and dishonesty.

Key Takeaways:

• Infidelity = “The breaking of trust that occurs when you keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner.”
• A step-by-step trust-rebuilding process for those who have betrayed their partner.
• Insights into the emotional experience of the betrayed partner—helping the unfaithful partner truly “get it.”

How It Has Impacted Me:

I use this book regularly in my practice to help couples understand, process, and heal from betrayal. Dr. Weiss’s Overcoming Betrayal & Addiction podcast is another excellent companion resource.

Why I Recommend It:
Although The 10 Mistakes That Very Smart Couples Make was primarily written for young Orthodox Jewish couples, its wisdom is universal and applicable to couples of all backgrounds and ages. Rabbi Shaifer does an exceptional job delineating the fundamental differences between men and women and explaining how these differences, if misunderstood, can lead to conflict, resentment, and even divorce. Using ancient Torah wisdom and real-life examples, this book provides a clear and practical guide to nurturing a strong and respectful relationship.

Key Takeaways:

• A deep understanding of the psychological and emotional differences between men and women.

• How miscommunication and unrealistic expectations create tension and conflict in relationships.

• Simple yet powerful reminders about speaking with respect, showing appreciation, and avoiding resentment.

• Insights into the timeless wisdom of how to build and maintain a healthy, lasting marriage.

How It Has Impacted Me:
This book has been an invaluable resource in my own marriage, helping me better understand how to communicate effectively and navigate relational challenges. The principles Rabbi Shaifer outlines serve as an essential guide for both newlyweds and long-term couples seeking to strengthen their connection. I frequently recommend this book to my clients, as I believe its teachings can significantly improve any relationship, regardless of religious or cultural background.

Why I Recommend It:
This compact manual is an essential guide for anyone seeking to repair their marriage after an affair. Linda J. MacDonald provides a direct, no-nonsense approach to understanding the deep impact of infidelity and what it truly takes to rebuild trust and heal a relationship.

Key Takeaways:

• The critical steps an unfaithful partner must take to help their spouse heal.

• Why true remorse and accountability are non-negotiable for reconciliation.

• How to avoid common mistakes that can further damage the relationship.

• Practical advice for restoring trust and rebuilding intimacy over time.

How It Has Impacted Me:
I have found this book invaluable in my work with couples recovering from infidelity. It offers clear, actionable guidance for those who are truly committed to making amends and healing their marriage. I highly recommend it for both therapists and individuals navigating the difficult road to reconciliation.

Why I Recommend It:
Nicole Sachs, LCSW, builds on Dr. Sarno’s work, providing a modern, relatable, and deeply compassionate approach to healing chronic pain. Her podcast, The Cure for Chronic Pain, offers real-life stories, expert insights, and practical tools for overcoming persistent pain through emotional expression and self-awareness.

Key Takeaways:

• The concept of the Emotional Reservoir: Suppressed emotions accumulate over time, eventually leading to physical pain and chronic symptoms.

• The power of Journalspeak, a technique Nicole developed to help individuals process and release stored emotions.

• Real-life success stories of people who have healed from years of pain through this mind-body approach.

How It Has Impacted Me:
Nicole’s work has been instrumental in my healing journey, reinforcing the mind-body connection and giving me concrete strategies to deal with stress and pain. I often recommend her podcast to clients suffering from chronic pain, fibromyalgia, migraines, and other stress-related conditions as an essential complement to their healing process.

Why I Recommend It:
Dr. Burns extends his groundbreaking work on TEAM-CBT (Testing, Empathy, Agenda Setting, and Methods) in The Feeling Good Podcast, where he shares live therapy demonstrations, case studies, and insights on overcoming depression, anxiety, and self-doubt.

Key Takeaways:

• Live sessions where Dr. Burns works with real patients, offering a fascinating look at transformative therapy in action.
• Techniques to challenge and eliminate self-defeating thoughts in real-time.
• A compassionate, engaging approach that helps listeners apply CBT strategies to their own live

  How It Has Impacted Me:Hearing Dr. Burns work in real time has been incredibly enlightening, both personally and professionally. His podcast provides a dynamic, interactive way to learn about CBT and is an excellent resource for clients seeking additional tools for emotional well-being.

Why I Recommend It:
Fierce Intimacy distills the essence of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) and outlines the key principles of becoming a more relational person. Terry Real explains that there is a relational way to engage with a partner and a non-relational way, and that choosing the latter leads to dysfunction and disconnection. This audiobook methodically teaches how to cultivate true relational skills for deeper intimacy and connection.

Key Takeaways:

Identifying and breaking non-relational behaviors that harm intimacy.

• Learning effective communication and emotional attunement in relationships.

• Understanding how childhood adaptations affect adult relationship patterns and how to shift them for healthier dynamics.

How It Has Impacted Me:
This audiobook has been transformative in my own marriage, reinforcing the importance of practicing relational skills in daily interactions. I also use it as a resource for clients, providing them with a structured way to work on their relationship between therapy sessions. Fierce Intimacy is an excellent complement to couples counseling, helping individuals take actionable steps toward sustained intimacy and connection.