Resource & Recommendation Hub
A place where I share the books, podcasts, and multimedia that have influenced my work and personal growth.
Books
Terry Real “The New Rules of Marriage”
Why I Recommend It:
This is one of the clearest, most useful relationship books I know. Terry Real lays out the difference between being relational and being self-protective, and he doesn’t let you hide behind fancy excuses. If you want closeness, respect, passion, and real partnership, this book shows you what actually gets in the way.
Key Takeaways:
- How to identify and stop using losing strategies that damage connection.
- The role of Core Negative Images in keeping couples stuck.
- Why childhood adaptations often become adult relationship liabilities.
- Practical ways to become more relational, honest, and loving.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book has shaped me both personally and professionally. It has helped me in my own marriage, and it continues to influence how I work with couples trying to stop fighting the same dumb fight over and over again.
When Panic Attacks – Dr. David Burns
Why I Recommend It:
Dr. David Burns is a pioneer in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and this book gives people a real, usable roadmap for understanding and changing the thoughts that drive anxiety, panic, shame, and depression.
Key Takeaways:
- How cognitive distortions fuel emotional suffering.
- Practical tools for reducing anxiety quickly and effectively.
- Why resistance to change is often the real obstacle.
- How thinking differently can radically change how you feel.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book changed the way I understand anxiety. I use its principles often in therapy, and I recommend it to clients who need something concrete, smart, and effective.
Out of the Doghouse – Robert Weiss, LCSW
Why I Recommend It:
This is one of the clearest books I know for unfaithful partners who need to stop minimizing, stop defending, and start understanding what betrayal actually does to a relationship.
Key Takeaways:
- A clear definition of infidelity rooted in secrecy and broken trust.
- What the betrayed partner is actually going through.
- Why defensiveness and self-pity only make things worse.
- What real accountability starts to look like.
How It Has Impacted Me:
I’ve found this book extremely useful in working with couples dealing with betrayal. It helps the offending partner finally “get it,” which is usually the first real step toward repair.
Healing Back Pain – Dr. John Sarno
Why I Recommend It:
This book changed the conversation around chronic pain. Sarno’s work challenges the assumption that pain is always just structural and points instead to the role of repressed emotion, stress, and the mind-body connection.
Key Takeaways:
- Chronic pain is often tied to unprocessed emotional pain.
- The body can become the stage where emotional conflict plays out.
- Understanding the emotional roots of pain can reduce symptoms.
- Healing often requires insight, not just physical intervention.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book played a huge role in my own healing from chronic back and sciatica pain. It also deepened how I think about the body, emotion, and symptom formation in my clinical work.
10 Really Dumb Mistakes That Very Smart Couples Make--A Torah Based Guide to A Successful Marriage by Rabbi Ben Tzion Shaifer
Why I Recommend It:
Although it was written primarily for young Orthodox Jewish couples, the wisdom in this book applies far beyond that world. It gets into the very real differences between men and women and how those differences, when misunderstood, create resentment, conflict, and distance.
Key Takeaways:
- Recognizing communication differences between men and women.
- Avoiding common relationship mistakes that breed frustration.
- The importance of respect, appreciation, and restraint.
- Practical ways to strengthen love and connection.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book reinforces basic relationship truths that are easy to forget and costly to ignore. It has helped me personally and professionally, especially around communication and emotional sensitivity in marriage.
How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful by Linda J. MacDonald
Why I Recommend It:
This is a short book, but don’t let that fool you. It’s direct, practical, and brutally useful for anyone serious about repairing the damage after infidelity.
Key Takeaways:
- What genuine remorse and accountability actually look like.
- Why minimizing the damage is deadly.
- Specific behaviors that help rebuild trust.
- How healing requires consistency, not just apology.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This is one of my go-to recommendations when couples are trying to recover from betrayal. It cuts through nonsense and gives the unfaithful partner a map.
Adult Children--The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families by John Friel, PH.d. & Linda Friel, M.A.
Why I Recommend It:
This book is a powerful look at how childhood dysfunction doesn’t stay in childhood. It follows people right into adulthood—into their self-worth, relationships, and emotional life.
Key Takeaways:
- How family dysfunction shapes adult identity and behavior.
- Why old wounds keep repeating in current relationships.
- The importance of self-awareness, boundaries, and healing.
- How naming the pattern is often the beginning of freedom.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book gave language to things many people feel but can’t quite name. It helped me understand more deeply how profoundly family systems shape adult life.
Rabbi Shais Taub-The God of Our Undertanding--Jewish Spirituality and Recovery from Addiction
Why I Recommend It:
This is one of the most meaningful books I know on spirituality, surrender, addiction, and healing. It makes the idea of G-d personal, relevant, and emotionally alive.
Key Takeaways:
- A Jewish perspective on the Twelve Steps.
- The role of surrender and Higher Power in healing.
- Why spirituality matters in recovery and growth.
- How faith can deepen emotional well-being.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book helped me appreciate more deeply the spiritual dimension of healing. It’s useful for people in recovery, but honestly, it goes beyond recovery.
Total Immersion: A Mikvah Anthology – Rivka Slonim
Why I Recommend It:
This book had a profound impact on my life. It introduced me to the concept of kedusha and to the idea that marriage can be sacred, sustainable, and deeply meaningful.
Key Takeaways:
- A vision of marriage grounded in holiness and intention.
- An introduction to Taharas Mishpacha and its spiritual logic.
- The idea that G-d provided a blueprint for marital connection.
- A deeply hopeful view of marriage and intimacy.
How It Has Impacted Me:
Before reading this book, I was not optimistic about marriage. This book changed that. It restored my hope that marriage could actually work—and work beautifully.
Living Inspired – Rabbi Dr. Akiva Tatz
Why I Recommend It:
This is a deep book about living with purpose, awareness, and spiritual seriousness. Tatz challenges the reader to stop drifting and start living deliberately.
Key Takeaways:
- The difference between existing and truly living.
- How spirituality gives shape to a meaningful life.
- The relationship between free will and destiny.
- Why inspiration requires action, not just feeling.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book helped me think more seriously about how I live and what I’m aiming at. It’s a strong corrective to a shallow, distracted life.
Robert Kiyosaki-Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
Why I Recommend It:
This book challenges a lot of conventional thinking about money. Whether or not you agree with every part of it, it wakes people up.
Key Takeaways:
- The importance of financial literacy.
- The difference between assets and liabilities.
- Why making money work for you matters.
- How traditional thinking often keeps people financially stuck.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book changed the way I think about money and financial independence. It pushed me to think beyond just earning and saving.
How Can I Forgive You? – Janis Abrahms Spring
Why I Recommend It:
This is one of the most honest books I know on forgiveness. It doesn’t preach cheap forgiveness or pressure people to pretend they’re okay when they’re not.
Key Takeaways:
- The difference between earned forgiveness and forced forgiveness.
- How healing can happen even without apology.
- Why boundaries and self-respect matter in forgiveness.
- A realistic, grown-up approach to betrayal and hurt.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book has been very useful in my work with clients dealing with betrayal, resentment, and unresolved hurt. It treats forgiveness as serious work—not sentimentality.
Dr. Shloimie Zimmerman--From Boys to Men: Guiding Our Sons And Students In The Ways Of Kedushah
Why I Recommend It:
This book tackles a topic most people avoid—and does it well. It gives parents and educators a clear, grounded way to guide boys through issues of kedushah without shame or avoidance.
Key Takeaways:
- Boys need guidance—not silence or fear-based messaging.
- Open, honest communication builds trust.
- Shame shuts growth down—connection fuels it.
- Torah values can be taught in a real, human way.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This gave me language for conversations many people don’t know how to have. That alone makes it valuable.
Raising Royalty Chinuch In The Way Of Our Rebbes & Rabbonim by Rabbi Binyomin Eisenberger and Avi Fishoff
Why I Recommend It:
This is parenting with a soul. It’s not about control—it’s about connection, dignity, and seeing your child as a full human being.
Key Takeaways:
- Kids thrive when they feel seen and valued, not managed.
- Chinuch is about relationship, not just instruction.
- Emotional connection is not optional—it’s foundational.
- Parenting requires patience, humility, and intention.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This reinforced something I believe deeply: you don’t build strong kids through pressure—you build them through connection.
Dr. Irvin Yalom M.D. "The Gift of Therapy--An open letter to a new generation of therapists and their patients"
Why I Recommend It:
If you want to understand what therapy actually is—not the polished version, but the real thing—this is it. Yalom strips away the fluff and gets to the heart of it: two human beings trying to do something meaningful together.
Key Takeaways:
- Therapy works through connection, not technique alone.
- Being real matters more than being impressive.
- Every client relationship is unique and should be treated that way.
- Depth comes from honesty and presence, not formulas.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book reminds me why I do this work. It keeps me grounded in the human side of therapy—not just the clinical one.
Please Understand Me; Character and Temperament Types – David Keirsey
Why I Recommend It:
A lot of relationship conflict isn’t about pathology—it’s about difference. This book helps people finally understand that. Different wiring, different needs, different ways of seeing the world.
Key Takeaways:
- People operate from different temperaments—not just different opinions.
- Misunderstanding creates conflict more than malice.
- You don’t need to change your partner—you need to understand them.
- Communication improves when you stop expecting sameness.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This gave me a framework to explain something couples feel all the time but can’t articulate: “Why are we so different?”
Pia Mellody-Facing Codependence: An Insightful Approach to Healing from Childhood Abuses, Overcoming Love Addiction, and Breaking Free from Toxic Emotions
Why I Recommend It:
If you’ve ever felt overly responsible for other people’s emotions—or completely lost in relationships—this book hits hard. It connects those patterns directly to childhood and shows a way out.
Key Takeaways:
- Codependence is learned—it’s not who you are.
- Over-giving and people-pleasing are survival strategies that outlived their usefulness.
- Boundaries are not selfish—they’re necessary.
- Healing means reclaiming your emotional autonomy.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This is one I recommend often. It helps people see themselves clearly—and that’s where change starts.
Dr. Joe Nicolosi-Shame And Attachment Loss: The Practical Work Of Reparative Therapy
Why I Recommend It:
Most people walking around with chronic shame don’t even realize that’s what they’re dealing with—they just know something feels off. This book goes straight at that. It connects the dots between early attachment wounds and the quiet, persistent sense of “something’s wrong with me.” That’s a big deal.
Key Takeaways:
- How early attachment disruptions create lifelong shame patterns.
- Why disconnection—not just behavior—is often the real issue.
- Practical ways to move toward secure attachment and self-acceptance.
- The role of compassion and truth in real change.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book sharpened how I listen for shame in my clients—and in myself. It reinforced something I see every day: until shame is addressed, real change doesn’t stick.
Louis Cozolino-The Making of a Therapist: A Practical Guide for the Inner Journey
Why I Recommend It:
This book tells the truth about becoming a therapist. It’s not about trying to sound smart. It’s about learning how to stay present, humble, and human.
Key Takeaways:
- Therapy is built on relationship, not performance.
- You don’t need to be perfect—you need to be real.
- Growth as a therapist comes through discomfort.
- Your humanity is part of the work.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book helped me relax into the work. Less performing. More connecting. Better therapy.
Sarah Chana Radcliffe: Raise Your Kids Without Raising Your Voice
Why I Recommend It:
Most parents know yelling doesn’t work. The problem is they don’t know what to do instead. This book helps with that.
Key Takeaways:
- Calm authority works better than emotional reactivity.
- Kids respond to connection better than force.
- Consistency and respect matter.
- Your regulation sets the tone for the home.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This book reinforced the value of staying grounded under pressure. Less reacting. More leading.
Drs. Bill & Ginger Bercaw: The Couple's Guide to Intimacy: How Sexual Reintegration Therapy Can Help Your Relationship Heal
Why I Recommend It:
This is one of the most practical roadmaps I know for couples trying to rebuild intimacy after betrayal, addiction, or long-term disconnection. It doesn’t rush what shouldn’t be rushed.
Key Takeaways:
- Trust has to be rebuilt before intimacy.
- Pushing for sex too soon often backfires.
- Emotional safety is the foundation of desire.
- There is a structured, realistic way back.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This has influenced how I pace couples work around intimacy. Less pressure, more structure, better results.
Podcasts
The Cure for Chronic Pain Podcast – Nicole Sachs, LCSW
Why I Recommend It:
Nicole Sachs takes Sarno’s ideas and makes them accessible, compassionate, and very real. She doesn’t speak in abstractions—she gives people a way in.
Key Takeaways:
- The idea of an Emotional Reservoir and what happens when it overflows.
- The role of Journalspeak and emotional expression in healing.
- Why chronic symptoms are often linked to stress, trauma, and suppression.
- Real stories of recovery that actually give people hope.
How It Has Impacted Me:
Nicole’s work has been deeply helpful to me personally. It also gave me a stronger language for understanding the emotional roots of pain and recommending practical tools to clients.
The Feeling Good Podcast – Dr. David Burns
Why I Recommend It:
This podcast is one of the best ways to hear great therapy in action. Burns doesn’t just explain CBT—he demonstrates it live, and that makes all the difference.
Key Takeaways:
- Real-time examples of transformative therapy.
- How distorted thinking drives painful feelings.
- Why permission, paradox, and precision matter in treatment.
- A practical, hopeful approach to anxiety, depression, and shame.
How It Has Impacted Me:
I’ve learned a tremendous amount from listening to Dr. Burns work live. It’s helped me clinically and personally, and it’s a great resource for anyone curious about how good therapy actually works.
Fierce Intimacy-Terry Real
Why I Recommend It:
This is Terry Real’s message in concentrated form. If you want to understand the difference between relational living and non-relational living, start here.
Key Takeaways:
- What it means to be relational in a real-world marriage.
- How non-relational habits quietly wreck intimacy.
- Why closeness requires skill, humility, and truth.
- How to move from defensiveness to connection.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This audiobook has helped me in my own marriage, and I often recommend it to clients who need something to work on between sessions. It’s practical, challenging, and very on point.
Twisted Parenting by Avi Fishoff
Why I Recommend It:
Avi Fishoff’s work is groundbreaking. He teaches parents to stop trying to control kids who are already in pain and instead to lead with radical acceptance, unconditional love, and a lot more humility.
Key Takeaways:
- The concept of KIPs – Kids in Pain.
- Why control-based parenting often backfires.
- How unconditional love and acceptance rebuild trust.
- Why this approach helps not only struggling teens, but healthy parent-child relationships too.
How It Has Impacted Me:
Avi’s work has deeply influenced how I think about parenting, trauma, and connection. I recommend it not only to parents in crisis, but to parents who want to preserve warmth and closeness before things fall apart.
Dear Therapists Podcast with Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch
Why I Recommend It:
This podcast pulls back the curtain on therapy in a way that is fascinating, useful, and often impressive. Lori and Guy can get to the heart of an issue quickly, and that makes for great listening.
Key Takeaways:
- A real look at therapy in action.
- How foundational issues quietly shape daily suffering.
- Useful insights into relationships, anxiety, grief, and identity.
- A stronger understanding of what the therapy process can actually do.
How It Has Impacted Me:
I’ve spent many hours listening to this podcast. It’s helped me appreciate even more how much can shift when someone is really seen, understood, and guided well.
Intimate Judaism with Tali Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn
Why I Recommend It:
This podcast tackles topics many religious communities either avoid or mishandle. It brings together Torah, intimacy, and emotional intelligence in a way that feels thoughtful, respectful, and real.
Key Takeaways:
- Serious conversations about intimacy and Jewish life.
- A blend of clinical insight and Torah perspective.
- Honest discussion of topics often left in the shadows.
- A more mature, humane conversation about sexuality.
How It Has Impacted Me:
I value this podcast because it makes room for both faith and emotional truth. That matters.
Podcast Therapy with Dr. Z-Dr. Shloimie Zimmerman
Why I Recommend It:
This is therapy made accessible. Dr. Z brings real clarity to emotional struggles without overcomplicating things.
Key Takeaways:
- Emotional patterns are understandable—and changeable.
- Insight alone isn’t enough—you need action.
- Growth comes from honesty, not avoidance.
- Mental health doesn’t have to be mysterious.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This is a great reminder that therapy doesn’t need to be complicated to be effective.
Foreplay Radio – Laurie Watson & George Faller
Why I Recommend It:
Most couples are terrible at talking about sex—and even worse at understanding what’s actually going wrong. This podcast fixes that. It’s direct, practical, and doesn’t dance around the issue.
Key Takeaways:
- Emotional and sexual intimacy are deeply connected.
- Pursuer-withdrawer dynamics show up in the bedroom too.
- Desire issues are usually relational, not just physical.
- You can learn to rebuild passion—but not by guessing.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This sharpened how I talk about sex with couples—more direct, less awkward, and way more effective.
SoulWords – Rabbi Shais Taub
Why I Recommend It:
This isn’t just Torah—it’s therapy for the soul. Rabbi Taub has a way of taking deep ideas and making them land in real life.
Key Takeaways:
- Emotional struggles can be understood through a spiritual lens.
- Faith and psychology don’t compete—they complement each other.
- Growth requires both honesty and humility.
- You can live with more meaning without becoming disconnected from reality.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This is a go-to for me. It keeps me grounded spiritually while doing very practical, real-world work.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
Why I Recommend It:
Mel Robbins has a very direct, no-nonsense way of helping people get out of their own way. She doesn’t overcomplicate things or hide behind theory—she gives practical, actionable advice that people can actually use. Even when I don’t agree with everything, I respect how effectively she cuts through excuses and gets people moving.
Key Takeaways:
- Change requires action, not just insight.
- Simple tools (like the “5 Second Rule”) can create real momentum.
- Confidence is built through behavior, not waiting to feel ready.
- Personal responsibility is central to growth.
How It Has Impacted Me:
I appreciate Mel’s ability to simplify change and make it accessible. It’s a good counterbalance to more insight-heavy work—reminding me (and my clients) that at some point, you have to stop analyzing and start doing.
Guilty Pleasures
The Adam Corolla Show
Why I Recommend It:
This is absolutely a guilty pleasure. When I’ve had enough of heavy material—relationships, trauma, spirituality, mental health—Adam gives me a place to shut my brain off and laugh.
Key Takeaways:
- A funny, irreverent break from serious content.
- Sharp takes on everyday absurdities.
- A more old-school, contrarian lens than you usually get in mainstream media.
- Humor that helps reset the system.
How It Has Impacted Me:
I appreciate Adam’s willingness to rant about things most people overlook. Even when it’s ridiculous, it’s often funny and sometimes surprisingly relevant.
How I Built This with Guy Raz
Why I Recommend It:
This podcast is one long masterclass in perseverance, creativity, and resilience. The stories are compelling, but what makes them valuable is hearing how much failure, uncertainty, and persistence sit underneath success.
Key Takeaways:
- Success is usually built through trial, error, and endurance.
- Entrepreneurship requires creativity and grit.
- Setbacks are not the exception—they’re part of the process.
- Big outcomes often begin with small, imperfect moves.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This podcast gives me perspective. It reminds me that growth—whether in business or life—usually involves a messier process than people like to admit.
Smartless with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnet
Why I Recommend It:
The hosts lean more left politically and socially than I do, and I often disagree with them. That said, they’re still very funny, and the chemistry between them is undeniable.
Key Takeaways:
- Great off-the-cuff interviews with high-profile guests.
- A good break from heavier material.
- Humor, spontaneity, and genuine entertainment value.
- Occasional moments of real insight buried in the nonsense.
How It Has Impacted Me:
Sometimes you just need to laugh. This is one of those podcasts I turn to when I want something lighter, even if I’m not exactly ideologically aligned with the room.
Ami’s House - Official Podcast of Ami Kozak
Why I Recommend It:
This podcast definitely leans more into the political and cultural space, with a clear conservative and pro-Israel/Jewish perspective. I don’t always listen to it for “therapy insight,” but I do appreciate hearing voices that push back against the dominant narratives in mainstream media. It’s thoughtful, opinionated, and often tackles issues that matter in a direct and unapologetic way.
Key Takeaways:
- A perspective that is openly pro-Israel and grounded in Jewish identity.
- Willingness to challenge mainstream cultural and political narratives.
- Honest, sometimes blunt conversations about current events and values.
- A reminder that ideas and viewpoints matter—and should be engaged with, not avoided.
How It Has Impacted Me:
This podcast gives me a different kind of engagement than most of what I listen to. It keeps me thinking, challenges me at times, and offers a perspective I value hearing. I think it’s important to expose yourself to viewpoints that feel grounded and real, even when they’re not packaged in a “self-help” format.