Healing from Childhood Trauma: Rediscovering Your Inner Strength

Life can be an intricate journey, shaped by our experiences and upbringing. Unfortunately, some of us have endured the weight of childhood trauma, which can cast long-lasting shadows on our self-esteem, mental well-being, and overall happiness. However, the good news is that healing from childhood trauma and reclaiming your inner strength is possible. If you find yourself struggling with symptoms of low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety due to childhood trauma, know that you are not alone. In Queens, NY, I invite you to embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and healing through psychotherapy. Together, we can pave the path toward a brighter future.

Understanding the Impact of Childhood Trauma:

Childhood trauma encompasses a wide range of experiences, such as neglect, abuse, witnessing violence, or living in a chaotic environment. These adverse events can have a profound impact on our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. They can shape our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us, creating patterns of negative thinking, self-doubt, and emotional distress that persist into adulthood.

Acknowledging the Struggles:

It is important to recognize that struggling with low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety as a result of childhood trauma is not a sign of weakness. These struggles are a reflection of the resilience you have shown in navigating the challenges you faced. However, reaching out for support is a courageous step towards reclaiming your power and creating a life defined by joy, fulfillment, and self-worth.

The Role of Psychotherapy in Healing from Childhood Trauma:

Psychotherapy offers a safe and nurturing space where you can explore your past experiences, unravel the impact of childhood trauma, and develop coping strategies to foster resilience and healing. As a qualified and compassionate therapist based in Queens, NY, I am dedicated to providing a supportive environment that encourages growth and empowers you to embark on a transformative journey towards well-being.

Benefits of Psychotherapy:

Building self-esteem:

Low self-esteem is a common consequence of childhood trauma. Through therapy, we will work together to challenge negative self-perceptions, develop self-compassion, and cultivate a more positive self-image.

Managing depression and anxiety:

Childhood trauma can often lead to depressive symptoms and anxiety disorders. Therapy can equip you with tools to manage these conditions, promoting emotional well-being and enhancing your ability to navigate life’s challenges.

Processing past experiences:

Unresolved childhood trauma can linger in our subconscious, impacting our daily lives and relationships. Psychotherapy provides a space to process these experiences, fostering understanding, acceptance, and growth.

Developing healthy coping mechanisms:

Coping mechanisms developed in response to childhood trauma may no longer serve you. Therapy can help identify and develop healthier coping strategies, allowing you to navigate stressors more effectively.

Cultivating resilience and personal growth:

Healing from childhood trauma is a transformative journey that involves nurturing resilience and fostering personal growth. Therapy can provide guidance and support as you embrace your inner strength and work towards creating a fulfilling life.

Take the First Step Towards Healing from Childhood Trauma:

If you are ready to embark on a journey of healing, growth, and self-discovery, I encourage you to consider making an appointment with me at my private practice in Queens, NY. Together, we will create a safe and compassionate space where you can explore your experiences, find healing, and redefine your narrative. Remember, you deserve to lead a life that is defined by strength, resilience, and well-being.

Childhood trauma can cast long shadows on our lives, but it doesn’t have to define us. Through psychotherapy, you can reclaim your inner strength, build resilience, and create a brighter future. In my private practice in Queens, NY, I am here to guide you on your healing journey.

Take the first step towards rediscovering your worth and embracing a life filled with joy, fulfillment, and self-love. Together, we can embark on a transformative path of healing and growth. To begin your healing journey, follow these simple steps:

  1. Contact Loren Ecker, LCSWR at Queens Relationship Counseling LCSW, PLLC
  2. Make an appointment and meet with me in the conveniently located Queens office or schedule a meeting over Zoom.
  3. Start your “recovery from infidelity” journey so that you can eventually turn the page on this painful experience and enjoy a new and more hopeful outlook on life and on your relationship.

 

OTHER COUNSELING SERVICES AT QUEENS RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING LCSW, PLLC

At Queens Relationship Counseling, I offer a range of services to help couples and individuals overcome various challenges and improve their relationships. While my expertise includes recovery from affairs and infidelity, I also provide Couples and Marriage Counseling as well as Treatment for Overcoming Pornography and Masturbation.

Scared or Anxious? Read This!

Change your thoughts and change how you feel

Dr. David Burns, author of Feeling Good and his latest book Feeling Great identified the 10 most common distortions that contribute to one’s negative feeling state such as feeling scared, depressed, or anxious.

Graphic of three men with different cognitive distortions that are impacting their relationships. Overcome this cycle with Marriage and Couples Counseling in Queens, NY.

How You Feel is Determined by What You Think

According to Dr. Burns, how a person feels is determined by what a person thinks, so if you change what you think, you will change how you feel.

So for instance, a passenger on an airplane that is experiencing turbulence can tell himself that he is in an extremely dangerous situation and he can remind himself of all of the terrible airtravel tragedies that ended with the plane careening and crashing into the ground and exploding in a ball of fire killing all of the passengers and crew instantly. This person will obviously feel panic-stricken and extremely anxious.

On the other hand, if this same passenger would tell himself that the pilot obviously has a great deal of experience handling turbulence, that turbulence is a common occurrence on airline flights, and that it will likely pass quickly, then he will feel much more calm and serene and will more easily be able to endure the experience with much less stress to the nervous system.

Here you have a classic case of what you think determines how you feel.

Dr. Burns takes it a step further by teaching that our thoughts can be influenced by distortions.

Graphic of a woman overcome with her negative cognitive distortions and losing control of her relationships. Couples Counseling can help repair these distortions and your relationship.

Here he outlines the 10 most common cognitive (thought) distortions:

All Or Nothing Thinking

This is when you look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories. So in our airplane example, the person cannot see things in shades of grey. Meaning, in his mind the plane is either going to crash or it is going to coast smoothly without nary a bump. This is clearly not realistic as all flights experience a modicum of turbulence, some more and some less.

Over Generalization

This is when you view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. The passenger on our example flight might use Overgeneralization in thinking that it figures that his plane should crash, after all…”I’m a magnet for bad luck!”

A Mental Filter

This is a distortion that compels you to dwell on the negatives. Therefore, going back to our passenger, he can only see the “Fasten Seat Belt” sign turned on, and the worried looks on some of the passenger’s faces. He remembers that it was cold outside and that sometimes ice can damage the fuselage. He might think about the birds he noticed around the runway and imagine that the plane has encountered a “bird strike.”

Discounting the Positive

This is the inverse of the Mental Filter. When one discounts the positive he or she insists that their accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count. To apply to discount the positive in our example, our passenger would not take into account that the pilot has likely logged thousands of hours or that the plane itself has been designed to withstand tremendous turbulence, or that 1000’s of flights are completed each and every day with turbulence and all of them touch down successfully. Or that there hasn’t been a major plane crash in years. Or that one is likely safer flying than driving in a car.

Jumping to Conclusions

This involves two sub-categories: Firstly, Mind Reading–You assume that people are reacting negatively to you when there’s no definite evidence. Secondly, Fortune Telling–You arbitrarily predict that things will turn out badly. Our passenger might not be mind-reading (although he may if he imagines that the pilot, the crew, and everyone else on board is also freaking out), but he is very likely fortune-telling and is convinced that he knows the ending of this story, which in his mind ends, again, with the plane falling from the sky and with everyone dying a terrible awful death.

Magnification or Minimization

Relates to when you blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance. Our passenger might take every little light, bell, creak, or squeak to indicate that the end is most certainly near if he is using Magnification. On the other hand, if he is using Minimization, he might minimize the fact that the crew seems perfectly calm and at ease, that the bumps are intermittent, that the Captain hasn’t had to turn on the Fasten Seat Belt sign or he might minimize the routine nature of some expected turbulence.

Emotional Reasoning

This is when you reason from how you feel as in: “I feel terrified and as if I am about to die!” Just because you feel a certain way does not make it true.

Should Statements

This means that you filter everything through the use of words such as “should” “shouldn’t” “ought” and “must,” etc. “This shouldn’t be happening!” “The flight should be totally smooth!” “They should be doing more.”

Labeling

This relates to when instead of saying “I made a mistake” you tell yourself “I’m a jerk,” “I’m a loser,” I’m a fool!” In the example we have been using the passenger might have labeled the flight itself as “DOOMED!”

Personalization and Blame

This is when you blame yourself or others for something you or they were not entirely responsible for, or when you deny your or others’ role in the problem. The passenger might tell himself that the pilot is to blame and will become focused on that, it will be much harder for him to then be able to focus on anything positive and he will continue to feel scared, hopeless, etc.

These Distortions Cause Thinking to Become Pessimistic and Negatively Impact Your Relationships

Now all of these distortions that we enumerated will cause a person’s thinking to become quite negative, pessimistic, and unrealistic. Identifying the distortions in one’s thoughts can help you to use a more positive, optimistic, and realistic approach to considering your situation which inevitably will result in your experiencing less anxiety, less depression, less low-self esteem, less hopelessness and helplessness, and greater joy, optimism, and confidence.

I encourage you to look into Dr, Burns’ work, listen to his podcast “The Feeling Good Podcast” and read his books which will ultimately give you the tools to enable you to identify which common cognitive distortions you readily apply to the things that happen to you in your life and to employ a more positive and supportive way of thinking for yourself.

Graphic of a woman struggling with negative thoughts that change how she feels. These negative feelings can impact your relationships. Overcome this cycle with Couples Counseling in Queens, NY.

Stop the Cycle of Fear and Anxiety in Your Life and Repair Your Relationships with Marriage and Couples Counseling in Queens, NY

You don’t have to suffer any longer with feelings of hopelessness, anger, abandonment, and confusion in a relationship that feels loveless, in which you are constantly bickering, or in which you have decided that shutting down and disengaging is the best solution. Marriage and Couples Counseling can help! Marriage and Couples Counseling isn’t only for couples whose relationship is on the rocks and teetering on the verge of ending. Couples Therapy can also help more securely attached couples find even greater love and connection within their relationship.

1. Read more about us!
2. Set up an initial consultation to determine if Marriage and Couples Counseling is right for you.
3. Take action and begin the process of healing your relationship, reconnecting with your partner, feeling happier, more satisfied, and optimistic about your relationship, and ultimately reexperiencing the joy and love you once felt toward one another.

Other Services Offered at Queens Relationship Counseling

Ready to deepen your relationship? Then consider Marriage and Couples Therapy with Loren Aryeh Leib Ecker, LCSWR. His proven methods can be just the extra push your relationship needs to get you where you want it to be. Dealing with infidelity in your relationship or looking for treatment with porn? Help is here for that too!